Year 2013 In Movies So Far. The Good The Average And The Meh

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M.Y: Good day good folks of Planet S&P. We come in peace…hehehe…I always wanted to say that.

Terdoh: Sigh. You had to go and steal my line.

M.Y: Yeah yeah. Sue me!

Terdoh: Whatever mehn. Can we focus on what’s important here?

M.Y: So, last time we did this, we discussed the movies to look forward to in 2013. Half of the year is gone.

Terdoh: More than half!

M.Y: Yeah…more than half and we are going to reflect and talk about what movies we have seen.

Terdoh: From the WOW! to the Meh.

M.Y: The year kicked off for me with Gangster Squad. I looked forward to this movie because of the cast, but I was disappointed. Story was predictable and didn’t leave any mark. Acting was cool but then, it felt like just another mafia story.

Terdoh: Not in the league of Good Fellas or God Father.

M.Y: Naaah! Not even close. Not much can be said of Broken City or Jack The Giant Slayer also. It was just okay.

Terdoh: Then was The Last Stand featuring Arnold Schwatshisface……

M.Y: LOL. Good one

Terdoh: Thank you…..and here I was thinking it was going to be another movie where Arnold simply tries to show off his steroid riddled body, sadly those days are gone.

M.Y: But he did kick some serious ass though.  It was a fun movie for me. You could give it a try if you just want to see some above average action.

Terdoh: Keyword there is “above average”.

M.Y: Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters was damn too predictable for me. I could even tell the martial art moves they were gonna make next. It was that predictable and that’s all I have to say about that.

Terdoh: Parker Likewise, Jason Statham being the new Seagal; Crushing bones and all that. That guy should try acting something else before he gets stereotyped.

M.Y: Too late.

Terdoh: One of the best movies I have seen this year is Warm Bodies.

M.Y: I wanted the movie to suck. I mean, a zombie falling in love with a human and all that apocalypse shit. The synopsis sucked and I avoided this movie for so long, but then I watched it and it was just a beautiful comedy which I will recommend you get your hands on it.

Terdoh: Identity Thief was also cool. Funny with a few unexpected twists. I mean, who thought that woman will be that dangerous? Don’t let the sweet round lady fool you.

M.Y: Die Hard 5, wow. One question for those guys: Have you guys no regard for our thinking faculties? A vehicle made of steel which kept reaping through almost anything in its way got stopped by a mere Mercedes Benz GWagon? Come on guys. McCain could have stolen some fire truck or something to balance the muscles. Anyways, action packed movie. No brainer.

Terdoh: And to enjoy it, you have to come to the cinema without your brain.

M.Y: Halle Berry’s The Call which felt like an extended episode of a series or something, just under an hour thirty minutes was pretty good for a thriller. Not a mind blower but you would clench your fist in a scene or two.

Terdoh: Olympus Has Fallen, good action movie. A no-brainer though. Gerald Butler fighting to save his career and prove he can still kick ass. Everyone else was just in the movie to fill space like all the actors in 50 Cent’s Before I Self Destruct.

M.Y: White House Down which had a very similar story to OHF was quite original in its own way. Unlike OHF, it was really comical. But both movies are really cool though. See them. After Earth was…hmmm. What word do I use to describe this?

Terdoh: How about “terrible”? Jaden and daddy Smithy should have stopped with the classic that was Pursuit of Happyness. Because Will Smith’s forced I-need-to-take-a-dump expression throughout the movie was more comedy than thriller. And I think Jaden should focus on his rap career as Justin Bieber’s backup singer. Acting probably doesn’t run in the family.

M.Y: Abi. Let the bread winner handle the job biko.

Terdoh: Talking about letting the breadwinner handle the job, have you seen The Croods?

M.Y:  I was gonna rate this movie average when we did the review blog, but I watched it in a theater full of kids. They had so much fun seeing this movie. They even clapped when they were supposed to clap and all the right emotions in the right place. So I figured. It’s not for me, but for the kids. So if you got a kid and (s)he hasn’t seen it, (s)he should love the Croods.

Terdoh: G.I Joe, The Host. Crap. I am done. The ‘Rock’ shouldn’t be allowed in front of a camera that isn’t placed around a wrestling ring again.

M.Y: The Place Beyond The Pines was pretty good. It had some of my favorite actors in it. I loved it even though it was quite sad. Try and see it if you can lay your hands on it

Terdoh: Trance was good, an over kill though but it was a pretty good movie. We finally have a movie as mind bending as Inception, but not as interesting though.

M.Y: LOL. NO WAY!

Terdoh: Oblivion was a drag.  A quick note to Mr. Cruise: Please act something else. You are gradually turning into Mr. Cage.

M.Y: Then came Ironman 3. *Smiles*. Just go and see the movie. I won’t say more. People have shouted enough, if you haven’t heard all that screaming in the last couple of weeks, well I don’t know where you have been.

Terdoh: But then one of the most unforgivable things ever done in a movie was what was done to Mandarin.

M.Y: TOTALLY unforgivable. I mean, you guys ruined my childhood by what happened. Sigh. Well let’s not spoil it for you Croods who haven’t seen it…hehehe

Terdoh: Boring guy. Great Gatsby features one of the best actors in the game at the moment, Leonardo DiCaprio, yet he has been denied his well deserved Oscar over and over again. I won’t get tired of saying that until he gets it.

M.Y: Anyway, it’s a beautiful (and that’s literal) movie. Visually stunning, cool sound tracks, cool acting, directing and lovely story…

Terdoh:  Definitely one of the best movies I have seen this year. But then I have an extra soft spot for Leo and his buddy Tobey.

M.Y: Pain & Gain, Michael Bay’s attempt at a low budget movie was a pretty decent effort.

Terdoh: It’s simply a buddy movie if you and your guys wanna see a movie to make you have a good laugh with some action here and there, I think this is the perfect movie for you guys.

M.Y: Star Trek Into Darkness; one of the best action movies of the year so far. It has it all. Complete package.

Terdoh: Just check it out.

M.Y: Man of Steel has been met with such mixed reviews I’m amazed.

Terdoh: I mean, IMDB and RottenTomatoes have never been so divided.

M.Y: LOL! Like seriously. 56% on RT (making it rotten and bad) and 7.7 on IMDB (ranking it same as Star Trek Into Darkness). Its just amazing.

Terdoh: That’s cus the fans vote on IMDB. And the uptight critics on RT.

M.Y: Damn them! What do they know.

Terdoh: Ode, subbing yourself there. Anyways, I personally loved the movie and especially how the fight scene between him and General Zod was depicted.

M.Y: Yep. Its Snyder, what were you expecting. I also loved how he was portrayed with both his strengths and weaknesses. I’d recommend it for you guys. And like y’all have been hearing, its different from all other Supes movies.

Terdoh: P.S: Don’t watch it if you’re dead broke though. You won’t be happy seeing your entire school fees get blown up in half a scene.

M.Y: I mean I don’t know which is worse, what was done to Mandarin in Ironman 3 or what Man of Steel did to Metropolis.  Anyways, Fast and Furious 6. Someone said, you can’t watch this movie and drive home sanely.

Terdoh: I totally agree brother, I totally agree.

M.Y: WOW!!! That’s another awesome movie. Yeah I know some people will be shocked to hear that. Many have argued about the stunts and all that. Let’s just say I don’t give a shit about how fake that movie was. I loved it, YES! Every minute of it. It had me at the edge of my seat all 2 hours of the movie. Go see it if you love action and car flicks.

M.Y: I don’t know if Mud is worth the 98% it is getting on Rotten Tomatoes but then it is a very nice movie. Side Effects featuring Jude Law delivers one of the best performances of  the year by Rooney Mara. She deserves another Oscar nomination for her role in the movie.

Terdoh: Pacific Rim is just the freaking action movie of the year.

M.YNo doubt about that. It is every anime watcher’s dream. Just go see it. Thank us later.

TerdohDespicable Me is pretty decent, nothing special about it but my animation of the year has to be Epic. Totally awesome movie.

M.Y: Epic was well, epic. I love the story very much,you have got to love the slugs also. The Heat was another really cool comedy and the first female buddy cop movie I am seeing or ever hearing of for that matter. Special recognition to a couple of exceptional nollywood and ghallywood movies such as The Awakening, The Contract and The Gods Are Still Not to Blame. Those movies are totally worth your time. While we have so much praise for those wonderful movies, we sadly can’t say that much for Flower Girl and The Cartel. Decent efforts but not so impressive.

Terdoh: So that’s it for now. Till the end of the year when we check out the best and worst of the year, it’s Terdoh and MY signing off.

M.YOh, notice how we didn’t mention House Of Gold, Weekend Getaway and Wolverine? Naaah we didn’t forget them, they just aren’t worth the ink. And that’s that about that!