Worst Movies Ever Made(Part 2)

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M.Y: I have been through some really tough moments in my life. You really have no idea. Some so bad, it just made me seek revenge as soon as the window of opportunity was sighted…grinning…and the gods smile down on me this very day.

Terdoh: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, today we will be giving you the concluding list for the Worst flicks ever made. This was very difficult for us yo. We had to download some.

M.Y: Uhn Uhn, wasted megabytes mehn.

Terdoh: Went to the theaters to watch some

M.Y: Uhn Uhn, 1K gone, just like that!

Terdoh: Or even try to set P with some, only for the movie to ruin the moment forever.

M.Y: *Bursts into tears*

Terdoh: Its okay bro, its okay. I never liked her anyways. She knew all lecturers by first name

M.Y: What?!?

Terdoh: I didn’t say anything. ( ‘-‘ )

Gulliver’s Travels

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Don’t Look so disgusted Jack, it’s your mess.

M.Y: You know what torture is? Torture is sitting down to watch Jack Black for an hour thirty mins. The CIA just haven’t discovered it yet. I don’t like this dude. The day I will start liking him is the day a remake of King-Kong is made, and he ends up being trampled upon by the huge dinosaurs and then ripped apart by the fast tiny wicked ones.

Terdoh: The only reason Jack Black movies should ever be in demand is if the military discovers how painful watching him can be. The terrorists would confess in minutes…

M.Y: This movie just made a mess out of a ready made classic story. My mom mustn’t see what they made of her baby’s favorite bed time tale.

Terdoh: Old shameless man like you. It simply took a brand new Range Rover Autobiography 2012 into a plain, fine desert and went looking for a huge rock and slammed into it. (no reference to Men who stare at goats).

M.Y: Exactly. The goats in “Men Who Stare At Goats” have better (funnier) lines than Jackie boy…

men  who

       Yep, that’s what the movie did

 

Terdoh: I feel bad for anything with Jack’s name on it. King Kong wasn’t bad at all though

M.Y: Yeah, I sadly have to admit that.

 

BAD TEACHER

Bad-Teacher

M.Y: This is the kind of movie you see the trailer, it raises your hopes, then you decide to see it and discover all the jokes in the movie were in the trailer.

Terdoh: If you have seen the trailer, you have seen this movie.

M.Y: But then when you are done with the movie it clicks, “Oh its Cameron Diaz, what was I expecting”? Though she really did act the role very well and Jason Seagel looked as miserable as he was intended to be, and Justin Timberlake did act the retarded boy role well, and did remind us of some of his songs by the way, it was just a terrible experience.

Terdoh: Wasted MB for me. In one sentence I would call it the most hyped comedy with the least jokes ever.

Bourne Legacy

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M.Y: Jeremy Renner just made the list of actors that owe me with this movie.

Terdoh: Oh, you also have a list? Who tops yours bro?

M.Y: Yep, got a long ass list man. The man sitting comfortably on top of my list is coming right up. Exercise a lil patience. Back to Bourne anyways

Terdoh: Can someone please tell me what was going on in this movie, because I honestly didn’t understand.

M.Y: I was just hearing “Jason Bourne sighted in bla bla bla”. I waited to see this guy I no see am o.

Terdoh: The love of money, they say, is the root of all evil.

M.Y: This movie was simply made for money and ended up being completely evil. It wasn’t even the shadow of The Jason Bourne trilogy .

Terdoh: I couldn’t finish it by the way, so if anyone understood what was going on, please call me. I really need to know what happened.

The Ghost Rider Series

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Terdoh: Marvel really marvels me some times sha. How do they allow some movies happen?

M.Y: Haha! And here my dear  people is the actor who owes me the most for featuring in the most horrible flicks. Here is our theory. I am not the only one he owes, Nicolas Cage gambled with the mob and he has been given a condition to pay his debt or lose his life.

Terdoh: And that condition is for him to have to pick the worst scripts and roles in recent years, and act them out. This is the only reasonable explanation we can give. Other than that, we have no idea what the problem is with this guy.

M.Y: He reminds me of Jim Iyke sef. The two of them like leather jackets and bad scripts too much. I am not even going to talk about the movie, it’s just crap and that’s it.

Terdoh: At least Nick has real abs.

M.Y: Does he still? Jim doesn’t?

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Jim Iyke, holding his breath for the ladies.

Terdoh: I rest my case. Anyway, back to the movie, I watched it (Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance) with the lowest expectations in the world and I was still disappointed. So…don’t get your hopes up.

The Man with Iron fists

The-Man-with-the-Iron-Fists-Rza

who is this guy seriously?

M.Y: Written by RZA

Terdoh: Screenplay by RZA

M.Y: The man with the Iron fist acted by RZA

Terdoh: The man with the Iron fist directed by RZA

M.Y: Tagline, “you can’t spell kung fu without the f and u”

Terdoh: Question now is who is RZA right?

M.Y: Hip hop DJ who likes to see himself as a black Tarantino

Terdoh: Extremely disappointed this movie was presented by Quentin Tarantino

M.Y: Terrible acting from the man with the big lips who didn’t get the iron fists until the movie was almost done.

Terdoh: And most of all what was Russell Crowe doing in this movie?

M.Y: Don’t make me add you to my list Russell, don’t make me. You are better than this!

Terdoh: Dope OST though. With Wu Tang and Kanye and all. But that’s for the music heads. The movie sucked.

M.Y: Like babies.

Terdoh: Nobody will get that. You old man.

M.Y: ₦1,000 credit for the first person who does.

Terdoh: HAY!! I got it!

M.Y: See? You’re a nobody. Get it.

Terdoh: I hate you. -__-

 

No Strings Attached = Friends with Benefits

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M.Y: I saw Friends with Benefits at the cinema. That’s what hurts me the most. It was just an endless loop of a boring Try-So-Hard-To-Be-Funny excuse for a romantic story.

Terdoh: Same as No Strings Attached. I can’t even separate both Movies anymore in my head.

M.Y: They’re the same script.

Terdoh: Acted by more attractive looking people.

M.Y: I think we have said it all…you watch one, you’ve watched them all.

ZOOKEEPER

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M.Y: I really didnt get the sense of humor and motivation for this movie.

Terdoh: Was it a bromance between an ape and a man?

M.Y: Or was it the impossible romance between ‘that’ woman and a man?

Terdoh: Or was it the sad fact a man was taking embarrassing tutorials from animals on how to woo a woman?

M.Y: Sometimes I wonder how I finish certain movies. I marvel at my self. Kevin James is another actor who has just lost his funny bone.

Terdoh: He was okay in Here Comes The Boom, I guess…

***

M.Y: On a final note I will just say this, We are just blaming Nollywood unnecessarily as a matter of fact. Hollywood messes up more than they do. From Nollywood you know you aren’t expecting so much, so they can only impress when they make a good movie. Hollywood, they can only disappoint when their movies end up being bad because they are hyped so much.

Terdoh: So it’s a wrap on our terrible flick series guys. I am sure we didn’t touch them all. We wouldn’t have left here in weeks. Drop your worst flick below and lets know.

the end