Directed By: Desmond Elliot
Written By: Kehinde Joseph, Uduak Oguamanam and Bola Aduwo
Stars: Genevieve Nnaji, Ramsey Nouah, Ini Edo, Monalisa Chinda, Uti Nwachukwu, Bryan Okwara, Alexx Ekubo, Beverly Naya, Uru Eke, Bobby Obodo, Imeh ‘Bishop’ Umoh and Ini Ikpe
M.Y: Hey guys. Happy Easter to you all. I know we were supposed to have the review of The Croods out today, but then the most unfortunate thing happened. Terdoh and I rushed into the cinemas at 2pm to see The Croods.
Terdoh: But apparently ‘someone’ *rolls eyes at M.Y* didn’t check the movie schedule the night before and so by the time we got there, The Croods was done showing for the day.
M.Y: So… guess what? We were stuck with Weekend Getaway. My mind so didn’t go with this movie, but we did see it and it was all Terdoh’s fault.
Terdoh: Sure…blame the black guy.
M.Y: Weekend Getaway is a drama about five couples with relationship issues who spend the weekend in a plush, exotic hotel.The film exposes the drama, dysfunction, intrigues, lies and ultimately love, that abounds in their lives.
M.Y: So, the script. *pauses*
Terdoh: What script?
M.Y: *sigh* The script? Terdoh, can you please say something about this script because I honestly thought this was just a star studded production to advertize Ibom Le Meridian
Terdoh: That’s a beautiful place I must say by the way.
M.Y: Yea it sure is. But it sorta seemed like Ibom Le Meridian, Blackberry and Director Desmond simply said “guys, you have all seen “Why Did I Get Married” and “Couples Retreat” right? Just, you know, make it ‘original’ and do your thing. All that is important is what’s in your hands and what’s in the background”.
Terdoh: I mean, like half the storyline was on BBM. You need to see it to understand.
M.Y: Like, what if we can’t read? We’re doomed.
Terdoh: Man, what if we can’t see the screen?
M.Y: That’s half the movie right there that we don’t understand.
Terdoh: The story wasn’t well structured and as we’ve noticed with a few of Desmond’s movies that we’ve seen, the scripts are kinda below average yo!
M.Y: What even made it worse was how some questions were left unanswered.
Terdoh: A lot of things could have been done better. Or written better. We’ve seen better Nollywood movies. C’mon!
M.Y: Desmond did a good job directing. Cool shots, scenes and depictions. He is definitely getting better per production, but then with all due respect sir, what’s a good director if your scripts never improve right? That’s my only issue with the flick.
Terdoh: Nollywood hasn’t really gotten its hand around its sound production. Because yo!! bad sound gets so much on my nerves. The sound doesn’t need to get irritating and disturbing before we know you are all angry or shouting at each other.
M.Y: Don’t vibrate the entire cinema biko.
Terdoh: The opening scenes with Beverly Naya, Bobby Obodo and their lawyer really needed some sort of fine tuning. I literally had to block my ears
M.Y: Top notch camera quality though. I think Nollywood movies have perfected that to a point.
Terdoh: To a point…
M.Y: Did you even see the plot hole where Ramsey Noah was wearing briefs at one point and was suddenly wearing a pair of blue jeans the next second?
Terdoh: Y’all need to fix up. I wasn’t even paying attention and I saw that.
M.Y: Can someone explain to me how EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the movie attended the wedding at the end? People who didn’t even know the bride and the groom were on the high table.
Terdoh: I liked the dance at the end. Totally unrelated to the movie but definitely fun to watch.
M.Y: All actors in this movie were BEAUTIFUL.
M.Y: Well with an exception of Alex Ekubo, *lol*…that guy can’t act sha but he did impress in this one. He played the hand bag to Monalisa pretty well.
Terdoh: He was one of my favourite actors though. The only person my soul didn’t agree with was that Ramsey Noah’s side chick with the moonwalking hairline.
M.Y: The scene with Ini Edo and Genevieve in the hotel room was just splendid. That’s what I call acting.
Terdoh: Yeah that’s very true…Everyone else was amazing yo.
M.Y: The movie was also hilarious. Imeh ‘Bishop’ Umoh as always was very funny, although some of his jokes didn’t even relate to the matter at the moment, but hey he did crack my rib.
Terdoh: Mad funny. Take it from me. If you’re not laughing at the lines, you’re laughing at the characters.
M.Y: And that scene with Genevieve working out. Whoosh!
Terdoh: Sweet lawd! That woman is a mother.
M.Y: Popcorn and Water from me guys. The story and dialogue is everything in a movie. If that is missing, there is nothing your directing or acting can do to save that movie. Even Zack Snyder couldn’t save Sucker Punch.
Terdoh: I agree. “Popcorn” because it was enjoyable. “and Water” because it was really hard to swallow. This movie would have been extra amazing if the script made sense. We’ve seen really dope stuff come from Nollywood so we know it can be done. You should only get better. Nobody wants the industry moonwalking; appearing to move forward but moving backwards. Y’all can definitely do better.