[Movie Review] Taken (2) Featuring Liam Neeson

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M.Y: Hello People!! Wassssssssssaaaaap????

Terdoh: Human, what are you so excited about?

M.Y: (grinning) Well, for one, this is our first actual post, considering that the prequel was an introduction, and two, you think it’s easy to be an ex-corper?

Terdoh: You’re such a movie freak. Using words like “prequel” to describe previous posts… Meanwhile, how are we celebrating this?

M.Y: How about I take you to go see a movie? You know, NYSC paid me 4 months outstanding allowance 😀

Zubby: Really? One year in service and you want to take us to go see a movie? It better be in Dubai.

M.Y: Silver and Gold I have not…what I have…

Terdoh: Whatever bro…What movie are we seeing?

M.Y: I’m thinking of something along the lines of Taken 2? Or Safe? By the way where is Kiki?

Terdoh: Was just about to ask that same question.

Zubby: Urm, she said something about going for a wedding. You know how ladies looove weddings.

TBH: Yep..you can say that again.

Zubby: And yeah guys, please Taken 2, I’ve already seen Safe. Plus I heard in this one he and his family was captured. But guys oo, for a guy who literally killed wolves with his bare hands, in “The Grey”, was a two star general in “Battleship” and already took down a mob from Albania, why on earth would you even harbor the thought to capture him and his family like seriously.

*3 hours later*

Terdoh: So M.Y how does it feel spending 5,000 naira on Taken 2?

M.Y: I was disappointed. That’s all I can say for now.

Zubby: What !!!!!!!!!!! I for one thought Taken 2 was or is better than 1.

Terdoh: First of all, I gotta ask, who is responsible for this movie?

TBH: Oh nice, are we suing? *gets out briefcase*

M.Y: It was directed by Oliver Megaton (the dude from Columbiana and Transporter) and both Luc Besson (Taxi, Transporter series) and Robert Mark Kamen (Karate Kid and Transporter series) wrote it.

TBH: Transporter? There’s definitely going to be a third part then.

M.Y: The cast included Liam Neeson (we all know who this guy is right?), Maggie Grace (from Lost) and Famke Janssen (Jean Grey/Phoenix in the X-men movies)

Terdoh: And how much did this movie cost?

Zubby: They packed a whooping 45 million dollars in those 91 minutes yo!

TBH: That’s a lot of shawarmas

Terdoh: *low whistle* so what’s your verdict guys?

M.Y: Okay, for those who don’t have any idea what this movie (or its prequel) is about, let us break it down for you…

Terdoh: We’re dancing now?

M.Y: (straightfaced)

Terdoh: Carry on…*wrinkles nose*

M.Y: Okay…the movie (Taken 1) was about this former preventer (CIA-Operative) called Bryan Mills who allows his daughter Kim (Maggie) go on a trip to Europe with a friend in a bid to rebuild his damaged relationship with her and his ex-wife Lenore. On arriving at an hotel in Paris, the girls get abducted leading to Liam Neeson delivering one of the most memorable lines in movie history “I have got skills….” He then flies to Paris and following a series of awesome ass kicking, a car chase, intelligent escapes and a larger than life price at stake, tears Paris apart to find his daughter.

Terdoh: Pretty awesome shit! Shed a couple of manly tears at the reunion bit.

Zubby: What really made Taken special to me was the very realistic and sad dive into the world of prostitution. It was really touching and emotional seeing all those girls who were being wasted by drugs and sex slavery. I backed my guy Neeson all the way in breaking them Albanian bones. Taken 1 comfortably earned a Soda & Popcorn from me because everything was just on point from the acting to the script and the directing.

M.Y: And Taken 2?

Terdoh: *under his breath* Meh…

TBH: It just seemed unnecessary.

Zubby: What was wrong with it?

Terdoh: M.Y, will you do the honours and tell the people what the movie is about?

M.Y: Basically, as you might have seen from the trailer, following the deaths of the Albanians in part one, the leader and father to one of the dead guys (Marco, the electrocuted one) vows to revenge on the guy who killed their people. This is all supposed to go down in Istanbul and leads us to the sequel to Taken. But I have a problem with the script.

TBH: There was a script? I thought they just let them loose with guns in Istanbul.

Zubby: What problem?

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The Script

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M.Y: Well, I have one simple question: why get greedy, make a sequel to a movie, and deliver below the standard of the previous one? Compared to Pierre Morel’s prequel, the movie was really dull to me for the first thirty minutes or so. I didn’t get to see any ass kicking and I knew right about the moment I finally saw the first ass-kicking, this was not going to be as good as the first one in anyway. Urh…one more thing, by the way guys, who was the dude the Albanians showed a picture of Liam to, that then led them to Istanbul?

Terdoh: Another reason Taken 1 was a good movie to me was because it had no particularly recognized antagonist. Just a whole lot of bad guys who needed to be taught lessons… Taken 2 on the other hand had a bad guy who was nowhere close to the physical/mental status of Liam. It was basically like putting Batman right next to Pinky and the freaking Brain. The ‘villain’ was a real dolo! Verdict on the script is that we didn’t need the thirty minutes of boredom to build up a story with almost nothing to prove.

Zubby: I seriously think you guys are missing the point here. Not every movie that has a prequel is supposed to feel like a Harry-Potter movie. I enjoyed this movie cos it was cool seeing the whole family getting in on the action. Unlike Taken 1 that it was only Liam (Bryan) who had all the fun. Plus was it just me who thought it was pretty cool the way he finished off the main antagonist? He literally hung that dude’s head. That was awesome if you ask me.

Terdoh: A villain has to match the hero in some way. Wit or brains (like in Batman Begins) or Muscle/Number (Like in Immortals) or dance skills (like in freaking Step Up 3).  Even a good sense of humour (like in The Dark Knight) doesn’t do any harm. This insult of a villain just didn’t do it for me.

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The Acting

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M.Y: The acting was pretty good though. Liam may be getting slow, but he is still a very smart man. Getting the gun to him through Kim was rather ingenious. I did a little research and found it possible, the calculations of his distance from the hotel using the grenade popping and all that. He put up a good performance though. I give that to him.

Terdoh: To me it was pretty obvious that age is really not on Liam’s side and he should take up more verbal roles than physical ones. The fight scenes were less than average and it was glaring that he had to sometimes shout “Cut! You guys! I need to pee!”

Zubby: He’s 60, like seriously what do u expect. He’s no Daniel Craig you know. Just seeing Maggie running on the rooftop brings back memories of Assassin’s Creed (The Game)

TBH: Are we going to discuss the fact that a learner driver was drifting on the back roads of Istanbul? Liam Neeson clearly needs the paycheck. Oh and Jean Grey needs to lay off the black hair dye.

Zubby: She looked good to me.

TBH: Her face is rather annoying.

Terdoh: Looking like she needs a husband.

M.Y: …perhaps she had more fun in this movie than Liam. Running on roof tops, throwing grenades in parking lots, awesome car chases round really narrow corners and all that shii. Rumour has it she is going to be the main character in a possible Taken 3 and 4 (We brought it to you first…*wink*)

Zubby: Hmmm M.Y Official rumours or just your own assumption?

TBH: I won’t even be shocked, I mean isn’t Fast and Furious already on part 6?

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Our Verdicts

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M.Y: Good movie, but when your sole motivation for making a movie is to rake in money and take advantage of the success of the first instalment of a really awesome movie, this is what you get. I blame the director for the flaws of this movie, probably that was why Morel didn’t come back for a second one (just saying). Here is my verdict. Taken 2 was entirely not necessary because Taken 1 answered all questions and had no un answered questions. I rate it a Popcorn and Hotdog.

Terdoh: Yup. Popcorn and Hotdog for me too. Initially it was a major snoozefest. My opinion is that this sequel is just an introduction to a Taken 3 that’ll show how badass his daughter is. (I wonder who they’ll take from her though…we’re running out of family members)

Zubby: There’s always the boyfriend.

Terdoh: Oh yeah! That…

Zubby: Just imagine Kim’s boyfriend is Marco from Tropoja, sent to infiltrate the family.

TBH: I saw the movie on the day the uppercut video was making the rounds on the interwebs, that was certainly the most exciting thing I saw that day. Still disappointed that Jean Grey didn’t go all Phoenix on their asses.

These are of course, our opinions… What are your takes guys?