Look Out! It's 2013!

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M.Y: Greetings Earthlings! Kindly ignore the corny title for a moment, and lets thank God for the past year. Done? Okay. Let’s go on. It is the year of our Lord 2013. And what better way to start it here on Sodas and Popcorn than to give a rundown of movies coming up in this year we believe would be “whoa!!” and those that will simply be “bleh”. Wow, sorry guys, pardon my manners, we got a special guest in the house today. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce to you, Leslie!

Leslie: Thank you, thank you, come on ladies, you didn’t have to take off your shirts. There are kids watching…*wink*. So! It’s a joy to be here guys. I am happy and excited to be the first guest writer on Sodas and Popcorn.

M.Y: Thanks for being here today. Well appreciated. So what do you have to say about what we have got for our readers today?

Leslie: Like seriously? What were you guys expecting on the first post of the year? Without beating round the bush any further M.Y, let’s get right to it.

M.Y: 2013 is a year with a lot of sequels and remakes. These guys are starting to run out of ideas in my opinion I must say.

Leslie: But hold up a minute, have you seen the figures? I mean the top movie studios in Hollywood made a collective intake of $13.485 billion dollars in 2012. Cc hollywoodreporters

M.Y: Wow! That’s probably some country’s budget. With that kind of money coming into your pockets from making movies, why won’t you be planning a sequel for every success you have got.

Leslie: We kick off with some productions we believe will be worth seeing in Cinemas and those we feel should just…well, you know the drill.

M.Y: For some of the sequels coming up this year, we got RED2, I would love to see that. I loved RED very much, most especially because of the sense of humor. Though Morgan Freeman will not be returning, it features Anthony Hopkins. Hell yeah!

Leslie: We also got G.I Joe: Retaliation. We have waited far too long for this movie. Dwayne Johnson and Bruce Willis featured alongside Channing Tatum, who appears to be dead in the trailer (who are they fooling?). It better be good.

M.Y: Robert Rodriguez is returning to the big screen with a sequel to the much loved and creative Sin City. This one is called Sin City: A Dame To Kill For. I would definitely spend my money to see this one.

Leslie: Fast 6 is also gonna be coming out this year, and after watching the last five, this is what I have to say about the franchise. “Tired sight of beautiful chicks, fast sexy cars, over falsified male egos and an over lived franchise”.

M.Y: M. Night Shyamalan (An Indian/American Director whose reputation has gone down the drains, due to terrible film making in recent years…remember Last Airbender, yeah. He did it.) is returning to the big screen with After Earth. There is a Mass Effect game called After Earth right? *Shrugs*. Check out both posters in your spare time and please tell the difference. Btw it features Will Smith and  His son once again, fighting for survival AGAIN.

Leslie: Guillermo del Toro’s Pacific Rim = Power Rangers+Godzilla+Transformers. I would still love to see it for Del Toro’s creativity and mostly, because I love huge machines bashing the crap out of aliens the size of skyscrapers.

M.Y: Oblivion? *Konvict Gate Slam* + * Not Interested Smiley*. I don’t know why, but even though Tom Cruise is in it, I am not sold. Fingers crossed though.

Leslie: Ouch. That gotta hurt. BTW, Michael Bay is making a low budget movie

M.Y: Wait a minute, did I just hear low budget and Michael Bay in the same sentence?

Leslie: Yep. A true story called Pain and Gain starring Dwayne Johnson and Mark Wahlberg. It should be a good one. I seem to like the way the story goes….though I fear that low budgets wouldn’t deter Bay’s serving of large scale explosions, city-wide fires and wanton destruction.

M.Y: Though Michael is not much of the story kinda person sha. Anyways we will be watching. I would love to see it. We got some Zombies and witches movies this year which I must say I am not particularly looking forward to. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters featuring Jeremy Reener, Brad Pitt’s Word War Z(the zombies in this movie run actually, they are not slow one bit), Warm Bodies which is about a Zombie that falls in love…like seriously, WTF! We had to deal with five years of some horrible vampire tale, now we have to deal with Zombies falling in love.

Leslie: Hansel & Gretel is definitely a must watch for me because….well….i didn’t get my fill of Hawk-Eye action from Jeremy Reener in Avengers. This just might sate it perfectly. Warm bodies is mostly likely going to be…wait for it…just another Twilight with Bella played by yet another permanently poker-faced actress and Edward devolves to a non-sparkly Zombie. No difference from the original movie. Well Done Hollywood.

Moving on, Marvel Comics definitely has a lot going for them this year. We got Iron Man3, Thor: The Dark Word and they are looking to set the records straight with a new The Wolverine.

M.Y: As for the last two, both haven’t got trailers or teasers out yet, but I am definitely sure about one thing in both of them, “lots of explosions”.

To round this up guys, we got the top 10 movies to look out for this year. You thought we forgot some movies right? How possible is that…we are Sodas and Popcorn. We are simply saving the best for the last.

Man of Steel.

Iron Man 3

Star Trek Into Darkness

300: Rise of An Empire

The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

Monsters University

Despicable Me 2

Kick-Ass 2

A Good Day to Die Hard

Oz The Great and Powerful

M.Y: There you have it guys. A round up on some of the biggest productions to (or not) look out for this year. Sodas and Popcorn will definitely be here to let everyone know our takes on these movies all through the year. See you guys on Sunday when we review The Life of Pi.

Leslie: Happy new year guys. Awesome year ahead for us all.

1 COMMENT

  1. Lol! I expected a lot more dissing tho o *dissathon* anywayz, I went to the cinema to see another movie and there was a commercial on this! My friends burst out laughing! It was hillarious! Esp the crashing part. Nollywood, don’t make a movie that’ll make us laugh about a tragedy! But why? This was supposed to be our own Titanic.. Oh well

  2. M.Y.: Yeah. Something just went wrong somewhere. Almost like the plot just got up and left the movie.

    Terdoh: There was a plot? Stop this…

    I am still laughing at this.

  3. Poor Jim irk or Jimmy ‘Neutron’ Iyke, you guys sha didn’t hv pity on him. See stroking!

    M.Y.: True. What of Omotola?

    Terdoh: Dude…

    M.Y.: Jim Iyke?

    Terdoh: Are you deliberately looking for my trouble M.Y.?

    M.Y.: There you have it, even actors sef no try…smh

    U guys better stop looking for Jimmy ‘Neutron’ Iyke trouble. Jimmy ‘Neutron’ Iyke pele ehen…… It is ok.

  4. You know, a friend of mine and I were talking about the movie and we were wondering how you could jump from an exploding plane the way Jimmy did and not wake up in eternity..

    The gods of our land probably protected us.

    • Anything is possible in Naija movies. If a ghost in a movie has to look left n right b4 crossing d road,y cnt jimmy skydive without parachute n hope to survive. N one guy in d cinema actually felt the movie was tight. He was like ‘mehn dese nigerian film pple are now trying o’ *in d igbo voice*

  5. Apparently you guys forgot this line “what you see is what you get”. Terdoh & MY no more naija movies abeg. Gimme anything… Toofan, burning train No naija movies abeg!!!!

  6. This is very hilarious! Its about time somebody tell it to their faces! I loved every bit of the post especially Jimmy the nutrone Iyke! Part of the problem Nollywood has is that they don’t pay attention to the “story” the only Nigerian movie I have summoned up courage to see in a cinema is “phone swap” which was cool by Nigerian standard (I’ll leave the analysis to you guys) great work guys!

  7. As the part of the Nigerian demographic that grew up on Hollywood movies, I didn’t even raise yansh to go see this movie. Asin, especially after I heard the diss “what’s bold 5 looking for in 2006?”. Continuity and attention to minute details was obviously lacking.and I couldn’t agree more, the new acts seem to be raising the bar these days. Jim ‘Irk’…rotflmao…Good one! Attention all graphic designers and multimedia experts o…Nollywood needs you!!!!

  8. Thank you Jesus!!!! I was beginning to think that i was just a cynic and insatiable choleric for being upset with that movie.
    I’ld like to read your take on ‘Mr and Mrs’

    • No o, u were not the only one o, infact we plenty die. The media just promotes any big name out there. They aren’t doing their job as far as I am concerned. Mr and Mrs was good and funny. My girl friend forced me to see it and I liked it. It isn’t up there but it is definitely above average. We will do a review on it asap

  9. Lwkmd….I was close to watching this movie yesterday @ the cinemas…thank God I stuck with Skyfall..wc by the way was awesome when they got 2 d skyfall part…..mehn pls sodas_popcorn pls tell these guyz to go learn 4rm tade ogidan..I miss that bro mehn (dangerous twins, hostages n d best Diamond Ring)

    Cool analysis y’ll

  10. LOL! Nice review. It is totally hilarious tho.. I have to watch the movie so I can have a better laugh… But Terdoh, why Jimmy ‘Neutron’ LOL.. Nice one guys. *pops ice tea*

  11. Lmao!! I love u guys mehn…d way u made me laff abt dis glaring truth!! Wish I culd meet y’all !! Plz review more Naija movies o!! We luv it !! “The meeting,okon goes to school,etc…”